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Favors

I went to a wedding on the weekend that did not have favors. Now I found that a little rude. I see it as these people spent anywhere from $50.00 - $150.00 on a gift, plus travel, and plus the cost of lodging, give them a little something.

I feel if people are willing to make financial commitments to me and my FH the least I can do is get them a little thank you memento. Clearly the couple from the weekend did not feel the same way I do. 

What do you think? Favors or no favors, that is the question!

EDIT: I good point has been made!  The couple also did not come around to tables to thank guest for comming.  Maybe I'm erked as neither of these 'thank you's' happened, and my brian turned it into erked about the favors.  Hmmm....

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elcewa
Jul. 9th, 2007 02:11 pm (UTC)
I have yet to go to a wedding and receive a favor that made me actually want to keep it.

Little plastic swans with m&ms in them? What's the point? Cheesy little picture frames? It doesn't match my decor and I don't do knick knacks. Yet another knock-off livestrong bracelet? I guess I'll add it to my pile. Magnets? Quite frankly, I'd rather have a half dozen random pizza joint magnets on my fridge than a sappy wedding one.

I'd be far more pleased about a donation made in my name- it's better for the environment (because there were very few resources used in creating it and it won't end up in a landfill courtesy of me and most of the other guests), it's one less thing to haul home, and quite frankly, if I really needed 10 m&ms or jordan almonds, I don't need them wrapped in tulle. There's a vending machine in the lobby and I can rip the package open myself, thanks.

I guess I was unaware that some guests saw favors as a way to reimburse their guests for coming. If it's that much of a struggle and a financial burden to come, please don't! I'd rather you were able to pay your bills and whatnot. I invite people to be a guest at my wedding, to celebrate with us. It's not a business transaction.

(Deleted comment)
elcewa
Jul. 9th, 2007 02:27 pm (UTC)
:) Thanks!

I'm so fed up with wedding culture. Everywhere you turn, they're insisting that you do this, that, and the other. They chalk it up to tradition or fashion or trends, and what it comes down to is that the business folks in the wedding business are trying to make a living.

They want to squeeze every little penny out of every little bride and there are these books about wedding etiquette that we're all reading and learning what is and what is not proper, so we're paying out the nose for everything and bending over backwards trying to do everything appropriately... it's expensive. it's stressful. it's frustrating. it's a scam.

It's a wedding. If your family loves you, they're not going to carry as to whether or not your outer and inner envelopes were addressed correctly for this season, miss manner's standards, and your family's ethnic heritage. No sane person should really care as to whether or not they get 5 jordan almonds, and believe it or not... custom colored and printed m&ms taste EXACTLY THE SAME as the ones in the brown bag.

WHY ON EARTH DO WE BRIDES ALLOW SOCIETY TO PREY ON US LIKE THIS?!

(Deleted comment)
elcewa
Jul. 9th, 2007 03:13 pm (UTC)
That's exactly it! That's what weddings are about- marrying your soul mate. I don't know when they turned into big, expensive, sparkly shenanigans.

There's pressure to look perfect- lose weight, perfect hair, perfect makeup, hundreds and thousands of dollars on the perfect dress, the perfect jewelery... why do we spend so much time worrying about perfection for that one day, as opposed to working at a perfect ever after with the person you're marrying? Why does the actual marriage seem to take a backseat to the wedding?

I absolutely agree that it's an event to be celebrated... but at what cost? How often do we read about friendships destroyed over wedding drama?

jennofavalon
Jul. 9th, 2007 02:39 pm (UTC)
I LOVE YOU!!!!!! HA! you hit it right on the head:) thank you!!!
thejoysofjess
Jul. 9th, 2007 04:53 pm (UTC)
WHY ON EARTH DO WE BRIDES ALLOW SOCIETY TO PREY ON US LIKE THIS?!

Because we don't want them to call us bridezillas. ;)
(Deleted comment)
elcewa
Jul. 9th, 2007 07:38 pm (UTC)
Dear you,
I've friended you. I could be your friend in the broader sense of the word, too. Just not too broad, 'cause I think my fiance might not appreciate girl on girl action two months before the wedding.

me.
cbackson
Jul. 9th, 2007 11:45 pm (UTC)
Yeah, the wedding coordinator at some hotel mentioned welcome baskets for out-of-towners to my mom, and now she's TERRIFIED that we're insulting everyone by not doing them. Even though we had no idea such a thing even existed six months ago. SIGH.
sapphirenight
Jul. 9th, 2007 02:22 pm (UTC)
I agree- well said.

fireyirishangel
Jul. 9th, 2007 02:27 pm (UTC)
Cute puppy!!
sapphirenight
Jul. 9th, 2007 02:32 pm (UTC)
Thank you!

Cute baby!
(no subject) - fireyirishangel - Jul. 9th, 2007 02:39 pm (UTC) - Expand
trinity3x
Jul. 9th, 2007 02:24 pm (UTC)
Seconded
doodle
Jul. 9th, 2007 02:24 pm (UTC)
Heh. I agree 100%!
ol_whatshername
Jul. 9th, 2007 02:26 pm (UTC)
I never thought of it as a business transaction. I simply like the keepsake. I'm suprised that others planning thier weddings don't see it as a keep sake as well.
fireyirishangel
Jul. 9th, 2007 02:28 pm (UTC)
I'm sentimental and love keepsakes. So I save the invitation, program, or something else from the wedding. Favors just take up more space for me.
elcewa
Jul. 9th, 2007 02:31 pm (UTC)
If you see it as a keepsake, the edible ones aren't up to par. Unless you enjoy having a stash of tulle circles. Or, I guess it's possible that you keep the whole thing, chocolate and all.

If I kept a keepsake of every wedding I've gone to and will go to, I'd have an entire storage locker full of random knickknack-y garbage. Flipflop shaped picture frames, the aforementioned plastic swan, a poker chip with the couple's faces on it, a wind up submarine toy, etc.
ol_whatshername
Jul. 9th, 2007 02:44 pm (UTC)
I never said anything about edible ones...LOL

I'm sorry you find favors so offencive. Just don't have them at your wedding then.
weezercrazed
Jul. 9th, 2007 02:27 pm (UTC)
well said :)
bubblytoes28
Jul. 9th, 2007 02:32 pm (UTC)
10000% agreed
lizzie
Jul. 9th, 2007 03:41 pm (UTC)
Very, very well said. :-)
geminigirl
Jul. 9th, 2007 03:46 pm (UTC)
*applause*-I've kept two wedding favors; the little picture frame from my best friend's wedding (which I kept because it was from my best friend, not because I needed a picture frame that doesn't fit any photos I have) and the single martini glass (what's the point of a single martini glass, really) from my cousin's wedding, which I'd have recycled, but for the fact that I've found it useful for tablescaping and serving condiments at parties.

Most wedding favors are cheap junk that I don't need, and they sit around and gather dust until I get rid of them. Far more important, is that the bride and groom take the time to come around to the tables, talk to people, and say thank you for being here. In fact, one wedding we went to, about a year before our own, they gave out favors (melted Hershey kisses in tulle circles) and yet the bride and groom seemed to make no effort to say hello and thank you to their guests. The latter is much more important than any so-called keepsake from someone else's wedding.

I think "I guess I was unaware that some guests saw favors as a way to reimburse their guests for coming," has got to be one of the most appropriate things that I've heard lately about wedding planning. I hate that someone, somewhere, started a rumor that wedding gifts should cover the cost of the plate. That's garbage. There's no obligation for a wedding gift to cover the cost of anything-it's not a business tranaction, it's a celebration, and my guests didn't owe me anything more than their good wishes.
hoorayformegan
Jul. 9th, 2007 06:14 pm (UTC)
holla
1999
Jul. 9th, 2007 11:53 pm (UTC)
THANK YOU. SECONDED. I'm having favors, but only because my MIL wouldn't stay AWAY FROM MY CENTERPIECES unless I gave her something to do.

So I gave her the favors, and sure enough they are on a one-way ticket to TACKYTOWN.

But yes, it's not a business transaction; this consumer culture has got people going CRAZY!
Stop being so greedy!

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