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maid of honor vs matron of honor

I'm going to have two maid of honor's - except that one of them is married.  Should I call her the matron of honor, or just stick with maid of honor and be done with it?  Does it honestly matter?

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trinity3x
Apr. 11th, 2008 03:16 pm (UTC)
By definition a maid of honor is an unmarried woman while a matron of honor is a married woman, so yes, it matters.

Edited at 2008-04-11 03:16 pm (UTC)
isiss
Apr. 11th, 2008 03:17 pm (UTC)
k. Thanks. :-)
trinity3x
Apr. 11th, 2008 03:25 pm (UTC)
If it's any help, I listed the girls in programs with funny titles:

Maid of Mischeif
Maid of Merriment
etc..
isiss
Apr. 11th, 2008 03:26 pm (UTC)
cute! :-)

Thanks.
septsix08
Apr. 11th, 2008 03:27 pm (UTC)
Ha! I like that!
raenstorm
Apr. 11th, 2008 04:13 pm (UTC)
Haha..that is really cute :)
cbackson
Apr. 11th, 2008 03:25 pm (UTC)
I've always wanted to be referred to as a matron.

I'm not even joking.
moober
Apr. 11th, 2008 03:18 pm (UTC)
It doesn't matter to me, unless you're a stickler for etiquette.

My MoH was married, but we both aren't fans of the word 'matron', so she was listed as 'Maid of Honor' in the programs.
isiss
Apr. 11th, 2008 03:24 pm (UTC)
our whole wedding is non-traditional, so I'm not too worried about etiquette. I'm not a huge fan of the word Matron either - it just sounds so old...
pirish
Apr. 11th, 2008 03:40 pm (UTC)
it just sounds so old

Agreed. Whenever I hear or read it, I think about someone with a family and grown kids, not my fried who's my age and has only been married a year.
yo_yomama
Apr. 11th, 2008 08:39 pm (UTC)
It is old. It's a Latin word, matrona. A Roman matrona was the best kind of woman and wife, and only the most respected women could be called matrona. (I study Latin, so those kinds of details interest me... I'm trying to figure out how I can have really meaningful words in my wedding without sounding completely crazy to the guests.)
isiss
Apr. 11th, 2008 08:47 pm (UTC)
that is rather awesome to know - thank you for sharing that. :-) I'll be certain to keep that in mind - maybe even reference that. Thanks!
septsix08
Apr. 11th, 2008 03:26 pm (UTC)
My MoH (who is married) and I feel the same way.

Because the word "matronly" usually describes an older sort of plain woman, by definition "matron of honor" sounds kind of old and plain which my friend definitely is not! Haven't completely decided but we might stick with "maid of honor."

moober
Apr. 11th, 2008 03:34 pm (UTC)
Yeah, I asked what she would prefer, and she said matron made her feel like a frumpy old woman in a gray dress with clompy black shoes and her hair in a bun, so she would prefer 'maid', please and thank you. I had no problem with that! :)
isiss
Apr. 11th, 2008 03:36 pm (UTC)
that's the image I get too! :-)
slythwolf
Apr. 11th, 2008 07:20 pm (UTC)
Just goes to show, it takes all kinds. I can't wait to be a frumpy old woman in a gray dress with clompy black shoes and my hair in a bun. Also I will totally carry a cane so I can smack people in the shins when they piss me off.
raenstorm
Apr. 11th, 2008 03:22 pm (UTC)
I think the word 'matron' sounds so old - my friend is having me as her Maid of Honour even though I'll be married by the time she gets married :)
isiss
Apr. 11th, 2008 03:23 pm (UTC)
that's kinda what I was thinking. When I was in my friends wedding the DJ kept calling me the matron of honor when I so was not. That's what I just told my mom too, it just sounds so old.

Thanks. :-)
blizzardbebe
Apr. 11th, 2008 03:25 pm (UTC)
matron sounds weird, but it's technically correct. mine was married, and we joked about it but ultimately did go with matron, since she just thought it was weird not to.
isiss
Apr. 11th, 2008 03:35 pm (UTC)
that's probably what we'll end up doing too - my mom seems to think it best that way and that she would prefer it too. (she being the "matron of honor")
sillyd
Apr. 11th, 2008 03:42 pm (UTC)
If you are having both and one is married and one is not. You might as well call one maid and one matron. It gives them both a different yet special name.

I do not think matron sounds old, I think it sounds special. It is something for the married girls.

I will be having a matron of honor at my wedding. She is not old, she is actually 2 years younger than me.
inherentmalaise
Apr. 12th, 2008 10:26 am (UTC)
Icon love! That was a great episode of HIMYM! :D
classiclindsey
Apr. 11th, 2008 03:45 pm (UTC)
To be honest, if I were married I would want to be called the Matron of Honor. I know you think it sounds old, but if I went to a wedding and saw a married woman being called a "Maid of Honor" it would look like she was trying to hide the fact she was married. I don't see anything wrong with the title Matron, I think most people will know she's a lovely young woman who happens to be married, not a "matronly" old married woman.

And I doubt anyone will think twice anyways, it's only written in the program.
enogitna
Apr. 11th, 2008 04:37 pm (UTC)
I'm this same way. I would feel so weird to be a "maid" of honor after I was married. But to each their own.

I was wondering about "bridesmaids" are they are always called that, even if they are married?
normanee
Apr. 11th, 2008 05:38 pm (UTC)
Maybe because of the duties assigned are to be the maid to the bride, whereas the Maid of Honor and Matron of Honor are called out for who they are as a special person.
enogitna
Apr. 11th, 2008 05:41 pm (UTC)
That makes sense
quorcester
Apr. 11th, 2008 03:48 pm (UTC)
My MOH is married and we're using "matron". For me, it's about honoring her: she and her husband have a relationship and marriage that I quite admire and respect, so I feel as though she's earned being a "matron".
enogitna
Apr. 11th, 2008 04:37 pm (UTC)
That's a wonderful way to look at it. :)
mummergirl
Apr. 11th, 2008 05:10 pm (UTC)
i'm having both, and found calling them matron and maid respectively made it easier to rationalize having TWO "of honor" girls. i don't feel like i have to explain to people why i'm having two when one's a matron and the other a maid, ya know?

i was so happy to not have to choose one girl over the other either! one's family (and i was HER moh), the other my best friend for 23 years.

as for age, my "matron" of honor is actually my NIECE who is 7 years younger than me. she just happens to have found the love of her life earlier than i did, and i don't think anyone looking at her will consider her "matronly" as she is young and beautiful and has tattoos and a nosering, haha!
enogitna
Apr. 11th, 2008 05:45 pm (UTC)
lol at first I thought you wrote that she was 7 years old. I was like, "Is mummergirl from some creepy cult where they marry at 6 years old or something?"
mummergirl
Apr. 11th, 2008 06:20 pm (UTC)
haha SICK! actually i went back and looked and almost read it the same way! too funny!
savia
Apr. 12th, 2008 02:38 am (UTC)
we had a Woman of Honor and Best Woman. Also, bridesbabes & bridesmen, groomsmen and groomsbabes. And a Mistress of Flowers (she's in her 30s, she carried in our flower garlands). It all depends on if you want to go traditional or not.


Edited at 2008-04-12 02:39 am (UTC)
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