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Who Goes First (Ceremony)?

I'm scripting my ceremony and vows at the moment, and I'm just wondering:

When it comes to the "Do you, man, take this woman" and vice versa, and when it comes to the ring exchange...

Who goes first?

As in, does he get asked if he'll take me to be his lawfully wedded wife first, then I get asked, or is it hte other way around? Same with the rings. Who gets the ring put on their finger first?


Is there a rule about this, or is it different for everyone? It's practically the only thing I'm hung up on :)

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( 10 raised glasses — toast the couple )
snowmentality
Jun. 10th, 2009 08:06 pm (UTC)
No rule that I know of. Pick one and go with it.
ckdutchess
Jun. 10th, 2009 08:18 pm (UTC)
I think it's customary for the man to go first, but as far as I know there's no set rule.
concretengrace
Jun. 10th, 2009 08:45 pm (UTC)
I went first, but I would totally make the man go first. I was so emotional and excited that I burst out into tears. I'm convinced that if he'd gone first I wouldn't have.
_shaomao_
Jun. 10th, 2009 08:48 pm (UTC)
I dont know of a rule, but he is going first in our ceremony -- his name is always mentioned first in our ceremony as well.
serpent_sky
Jun. 10th, 2009 09:09 pm (UTC)
I'm putting him first on everything, but that's because I tend to be of that mind (man first) for whatever reason. Possibly because with our names (either my chosen nickname OR my legal name) it sounds better if his name goes first. I also tend to identify all couples as (male) and (female) but that's because almost all my friends are male and I know the guy better, 99.5% of the time.
afterthedreams
Jun. 10th, 2009 09:53 pm (UTC)
I went first when exchanging our vows. I put the ringer on his finger first during our ring exchange. When asking he accepted me to be his partner, his equal and his best friend through life, he asked me first.

No reason for this. It was just how the ceremony was written.
chapstickqueen
Jun. 10th, 2009 10:08 pm (UTC)
I don't think there's an expectation as to who goes first. We wanted one of us to go first for the vows and the other for the rings. We read vows to each other and I'm the better reader, so I went first. And he did the rings first.
gilneas
Jun. 10th, 2009 10:44 pm (UTC)
I think the traditional way is for the guy to go first. When I do a ceremony, I just try to be consistent - always talking about the couple in the same way (Girl & Guy, usually), and then having the ring vows / vows in that same order.
xnikki118x
Jun. 11th, 2009 01:40 am (UTC)
I believe tradition is that the groom says his vows first. I'm definitely going first when we have ours, though, because I know that if I have to hear his vows to me first, I'll be crying too hard to make it through my own.
onepart_lullaby
Jun. 11th, 2009 05:09 am (UTC)
I went to a wedding where they rock/paper/scissored for who got to go first.

Just a thought, if you can't decide. :P
( 10 raised glasses — toast the couple )

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