'Nica (pnkngrnd3) wrote in weddingplans,

Progress Post and Guest Drama

With 82 days until our wedding, we are a little behind, but we are confident we'll get everything done. I still have to find a florist, as I was going back and forth for the longest time on whether or not I wanted flowers, but I couldn't think up a good alternative. I was originally going to get them from our local supermarket, but our cake designer is rather finicky and I don't know how well that would go over with him. For the amount of money we've put into the cake, the last thing I want to do is upset him.

We are still looking for our rehearsal dinner location, which hit a few snags when his mom kept adding people to the guest list. We got emails back from two places that look promising.

After having some issues with our hotel room block, we finally got that all settled.

His ring is in. Mine is still on its way. This is my ring.

We're in the last bit of addressing and assembling the invitations, and that is where I hit some drama.

My cousin was originally supposed to be my maid of honor, but she backed out of my wedding completely to buy a house with her boyfriend. While I was upset, I had been thinking of asking her to step down to a bridesmaid, as she hadn't shown any interest in my wedding at all, though she had been very enthusiastic when I'd first asked her. This was in February 2013.

Since then, I hadn't really talked to her, as she can be a bit of a hermit. She's not very good about returning calls and she deactivates and reactivates her Facebook page so often that I stopped trying to friend request her each time she reactivated it. Well, in November, I looked to see if she was back on so I could confirm which address she wanted the invitation sent to, as she had mentioned that she had trouble getting all of her mail delivered to her. She accepted my friend request and told me she had moved back home with her dad, since her lease ran out and she got engaged.

After scrolling through her page to try to remember her boyfriend's name, I discovered that she had gotten engaged in August. And that she was engaged to someone that wasn't the guy she left my wedding to go buy a house with. I was really pissed, to say the least. I had thought we were much closer than that, given that I had asked her to be my maid of honor.

We had a huge fight just before Christmas, as I had gone to pick up my dress, and I wanted to have lunch with her so I could let her know how she had hurt me. She tried to bring her fiance without asking me first. I was upset, since I wasn't ready to meet this guy until I'd told her how I was upset. She sent me this really nasty text, so then I called her and left a voicemail trying to explain that I had things I wanted to talk to her about in private, and I didn't appreciate her not asking me ahead of time if it was okay to bring this guy. She called me back, and before I could even tell her what it was I'd wanted to say, she launched into this tirade about how I was immature, and a few other lovely things. At the time, I was at home having my mom strap me into my dress so I could show my dad, so I had put her on speakerphone, and she got so nasty that my mom started to tell her off.

We finally calmed down, and she apologized, saying she was sorry that she had upset me, that wasn't her intention, I'm her cousin, she loves me, she wants our kids to be close, etc. etc. She said she wasn't going to unfriend me on Facebook or anything like that. She still wanted to come to my wedding, etc. I apologized as well, telling her that I just wanted her to know how I felt before I met this new guy, because I was just too upset at how I was informed and all that.

About a month or so went by and we were still friends on Facebook. Then it seemed like she stopped posting, which wasn't very surprising to me. Yesterday, I looked for the old message thread we had used before to ask her once again which address I should use, as she had mentioned in the middle of our fight that she would be moving again. And her name was black, but there was a profile picture.

She had blocked me. She also blocked my older brother. But she didn't block our dad.

I don't know what to do. She got a save the date, so I know etiquette says that I should still send her an invitation. My dad said I should be the bigger person and send the invitation. My fiance doesn't want to invite her after all this crap. I'm torn. A large part of me doesn't want to invite her, but then another part says that she IS my cousin, and she swore that she would be at my wedding, but then this seems to make it clear to me that she wants nothing to do with me ever again.

Has anyone else dealt with something like this?
Tags: guest dilemma, progress post
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