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Money Dance?

Are you guys gonna have a money dance at the reception?

My gut screams, "Tacky! Poor taste!" when I think about it, but my head says, "If the guests don't think it's tacky, you're a fool for not jumping on the wagon..."

What are you guys planning to do?

Wow. I left to go Christmas shopping and came back to find all those comments! Eek!

First of all, I really wasn't intending to be inflammatory on any level. I truly apologize if my word choice offended anyone.

The tradition was something I'd never even heard of until my two wedding planner-type ladies mentioned it. They didn't indicate that it was any type of cultural thing. They actually said everyone does it and thought we'd be crazy not to.

Well, since I knew that my family a) had never included a money/dollar dance in their celebrations, and b) are also incredibly uptight about money, I figured I'd ask you folks how common it is and get a feel from there...

All I know is that it sounds like a tradition that my immediate family would prefer I opt out of - and the last thing I need from them is another fight about the wedding! I guess I'll just stick with my own family's tradition of treating money (and the taking thereof) as a very private, personal, taboo subject.


( 91 raised glasses — toast the couple )
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Dec. 16th, 2007 02:36 pm (UTC)
IN my opinion It's tacky - don't do it.

As a guest, when this is done at a wedding - it totally kills the wedding
Dec. 16th, 2007 02:37 pm (UTC)
I think it's one of those things where it's okay if it's a family tradition, but otherwise comes across as quite tacky. In our case, I'd never even HEARD of it until this comm, so we definitely won't be doing it.
Dec. 16th, 2007 02:46 pm (UTC)
Yeah... I hadn't heard of it until the wedding planners at the place we're getting married mentioned it.
They were like, "No! It's totally normal! You really should do it! Families love that!" and I'm like, "Um... my family wouldn't."
I think I'll go with my gut.
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Dec. 16th, 2007 02:39 pm (UTC)
With the exception of one wedding I've been to, all of the rest of them have had a dollar dance, so from my perspective, it's the norm! I can't say it's been "planned" for our reception, but if we end up doing an impromptu one, I doubt anyone is going to make a fuss.
Dec. 16th, 2007 02:44 pm (UTC)
The only opinion that matters is yours and your FH.
If you guys want it and you feel it fits into your feel,, then do it! I think families and friends are a lot more open minded then we give them credit for. Everything about a wedding and a party should be able love, fun and just having a great time! I would think peole love you too much and would be having to much of a good time to pass judgement.
good luck and have fun!
Dec. 16th, 2007 02:45 pm (UTC)
Okay, I'll bite - what's a money dance?
Dec. 16th, 2007 02:48 pm (UTC)
I'm not exactly sure how it's announced to the crowd or how the money is distributed out, but apparently it's a dance where guests pay to dance with the bride and/or groom. My wedding planner ladies say it's totally wild and fun, but I don't know...
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Dec. 16th, 2007 02:49 pm (UTC)
I say go for it only if it's part of your familial or cultural background. It's totally normal in a lot of cultures, but in those where it's not, I think it would come off badly.
Dec. 17th, 2007 02:08 am (UTC)
I agree :) Some customs are done by specific group of people/culture/tradition are not suitable for all. If it's your custom, go for it.
Dec. 16th, 2007 02:49 pm (UTC)
Regardless of whether or not it is a family tradition, I'm sorry if I offend anyone, but yes, money dances/dollar dances are just about the tackiest thing I have ever heard of. I knew a guy who phrased it the best when he said that he would never whore out his wife in a money dance. Think about it, people give you dollars in exchange for a little dancing with the new bride. Ew.
I'm all for getting money- just set up a card box.

Then again, that's just my opinion and everyone gets to have one :)
Dec. 16th, 2007 03:02 pm (UTC)
I think maybe my family does it differently. People can choose to dance with either the bride or groom. There is usually one line for each.
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Dec. 16th, 2007 02:57 pm (UTC)
i'd never heard of it till i went to a wedding this summer that had one. i didn't think much of it really. i gave the bride a dollar and a hug, and that was that. /shrug

i'm not really the type to get hung up on tackiness or etiquette though, so maybe my opinion isn't quite the best here. :X
Dec. 16th, 2007 03:05 pm (UTC)
Every wedding I've been to there has been a dollar dance, and you can either dance with the bride or the groom. We've always had fun with it, so we plan on doing on as well.

As for the tackiness aspect, I would say that it can be, but it really depends. For example, if you're Polish, it's a huge cultural tradition and has a lot to do with the bride becoming a wife. It's very neat at weddings like that.
Dec. 16th, 2007 04:13 pm (UTC)
from what i've read (i'm marrying a pole) it's about providing the couple with something to live on for the honeymoon.
Dec. 16th, 2007 03:07 pm (UTC)
The dollar dance is popular on the East Coast of the US. I'm in MA and all the weddings I went to on my mother's side (Aunt, Uncles, etc.) had it. Basically, guests pay to dance with either the bride or the groom. The way they did it was: If a female dances with the groom, she pays a dollar, but if a male wants to dance with the groom, he has to pay five dollars. Vice versa.

I don't necessarily see it as tacky, but the only reason guests will need to have money on them for our wedding is for their alcoholic drinks.
Dec. 16th, 2007 04:53 pm (UTC)
I wouldn't generalize like that about the east coast. I grew up on the east coast as well, in New York and have never seen the dollar dance at a wedding, ever.

OP: If it's a family or cultural or regional expectation that a wedding will include the dollar dance, it's not tacky at all. If it's something that most of your guests have never seen nor heard of and you think it sounds like a great money making idea that you got off of a website, then it might be tacky.
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Dec. 16th, 2007 03:31 pm (UTC)
I think this is one of those, "If you have to ask ...."
Dec. 16th, 2007 04:04 pm (UTC)
EXACTLY. If every wedding you have ever been to has done it, fine...it's a cultural/regional thing. If you've only heard about it on wedding boards, then it will be construed as tacky and offensive because your guests have likely never seen it either.

I love the "if you have to ask..."
Dec. 16th, 2007 03:43 pm (UTC)
Is it common in your area? Have you seen it done at other weddings?

If your guests are going to feel totally out of place and they're not going to get it, don't do it.

We did it, and I've seen it at many weddings in the Midwest.
Dec. 16th, 2007 03:45 pm (UTC)
1) Never been to a wedding without one and I've been to weddings in the South and in the Midwest, spanning a wide variety of ethnic and cultures. From my understanding the point is to help give the couple a little fun money for their honeymoon or to help with the first home payment. If it's not a tradition people in your area/family/culture are aware of, then don't do it. If it is, good on ya and have fun. I'm a little confused why this is one of the cultural traditions that people feel they can openly criticize, rather offensively, when it's been clearly established that "You are more than welcome to express your reasons as to why something "is not your style," but please respect others' preferences. We all come from different regional, religious, ethnic and financial backgrounds and all walks of life." It involves money, so it's ok to openly trash something that is a normal, accepted part of how "my people" celebrate? Seems pretty bogus and inconsistent coming from people who think wedding reviews are inappropriate.

2) Really tired of the word tacky in relation to all things money/gift related. I know it's not cool or PC to "want" anything these days, but this is a well-established system of trade wherein I provide entertainment and dinner and they help me and my man in the process of establishing a life together. There are people who are established in life and already have everything they need. That's great for them. But I'm not going to pretend I'm throwing a great party because I care if my mom's work friends see me get hitched. If I didn't need a crock pot or other household sundries, it'd be 4 people at the court house. I am completely honest and unashamed of this.
Dec. 16th, 2007 03:56 pm (UTC)
Edit: I know that people haven't been overly critical in this post, but there have been posts in the past where people have said some pretty harsh things against it. I do appreciate that so far people have included that if it's cultural, then it's ok, but the use of the word tacky still bothers me.
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Dec. 16th, 2007 04:27 pm (UTC)
We are not doing a money dance but we are just doing a dance were people can line up and dance with us if they would like.
Dec. 16th, 2007 04:30 pm (UTC)
I'm from the Midwest and have NEVER seen it done. and I've been to a lot of weddings. I also come from a tradition of not giving registry gifts but BUTT LOADS of money (It's a chicago thing) In Chicago the norm is giving the cost of your dinner plate plus a generous addition to that... So yea. To me, Money dances are tacky because you're already giving them upwards of $200....

But, It's a regional cultural thing. So, If you've seen it done many times, by all means go for it. But if you're not used to it, it's best you skip it.
Dec. 16th, 2007 05:24 pm (UTC)
see, i'm also from the midwest (chicago area) and have never not seen it done at a wedding.
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