Log in

No account? Create an account

previous | next

Money Dance?

Are you guys gonna have a money dance at the reception?

My gut screams, "Tacky! Poor taste!" when I think about it, but my head says, "If the guests don't think it's tacky, you're a fool for not jumping on the wagon..."

What are you guys planning to do?

Wow. I left to go Christmas shopping and came back to find all those comments! Eek!

First of all, I really wasn't intending to be inflammatory on any level. I truly apologize if my word choice offended anyone.

The tradition was something I'd never even heard of until my two wedding planner-type ladies mentioned it. They didn't indicate that it was any type of cultural thing. They actually said everyone does it and thought we'd be crazy not to.

Well, since I knew that my family a) had never included a money/dollar dance in their celebrations, and b) are also incredibly uptight about money, I figured I'd ask you folks how common it is and get a feel from there...

All I know is that it sounds like a tradition that my immediate family would prefer I opt out of - and the last thing I need from them is another fight about the wedding! I guess I'll just stick with my own family's tradition of treating money (and the taking thereof) as a very private, personal, taboo subject.


( 91 raised glasses — toast the couple )
Page 2 of 3
<<[1] [2] [3] >>
Dec. 16th, 2007 04:33 pm (UTC)
I didn't do it but some of my guests thought that everyone did it at weddings so they brought cash that I never got because I didn't do it! I think if it's not something you do in your family and it's not a tradition, don't do it. Because if you're the only that will do it/has done it it will look like you're asking for money. If it's something that your family has always just done, then do it.
Dec. 16th, 2007 04:37 pm (UTC)
i am, only because its kind of expected in my fiance's family.
Dec. 16th, 2007 04:42 pm (UTC)
I was at a wedding where the dollar dance went over well. People paid a dollar to dance with either the groom or the bride. The couple liked it because it gave them a moment to spend with a bunch of different guests. But I still don't want to do it - I'm not comfortable with the idea of asking guests for money.
Dec. 16th, 2007 05:21 pm (UTC)
Personally, I think it's just fine and can be very fun! (at least the weddings i've been to) I think it gives everyone an opportunity to dance with the bride and groom for a short time. (cause God knows there aren't enough songs in the world for everyone at your wedding to dance with you.) and IMHO, I think if your guests are going to get pissy about having to give you another dollar, then they have some issues. It's a freaking dollar.

oh and i've never heard to it refered as a money dance. I've always heard the Dollar Dance.
Dec. 16th, 2007 05:25 pm (UTC)
We didn't do one, but every other wedding in my husband's family has. And I gladly line up with my money, multiple times, for both the bride and groom. It's lots of fun. I know some people in the family save their money that they would give as gifts specifically for the dollar dance. So no, we didn't do it, because we had a tiny wedding, but if we had a larger one, we probably would have, because it's tradition, and his family would expect it.
Dec. 16th, 2007 06:18 pm (UTC)
I think it depends entirely on where you live and what your guests are used to. To me, it seems to be more of a southern/midwestern thing (with the exception of some foreign cultures)? I'm in the northeast, no ties to any particular culture, and the only time I've seen a money dance was at my uncle's wedding in Louisiana. So no, we will not be doing it.

I don't think it's tacky, but that could be because it seemed totally normal and fun at my uncle's wedding. I think if guests aren't familiar with it, it could definitely be taken the wrong way and kill the mood a bit.
Dec. 16th, 2007 06:32 pm (UTC)
i have never seen one down here. But i guess we do something similar. There are two dances, one with the bride and one with the groom and the bride (or groom) would stand alone in the middle of the dance floor and then all the opposite sex people in attendance would make a circle around the bride (or groom) and take turns dancing with them. No money involved but still a heck of alot of fun. Especially if you have a fun and crazy crowd. Normally the dj announces it and you can participate if you want. I was at a wedding last night that did this, it was sooo much fun.

From my understanding, a money dance is similar but this in particular lacks the money and the tacking of money to the bride and groom.

I would say dont do the money dance if its not tradition. If you still want to do something fun you can do it maybe without the money?
Dec. 16th, 2007 06:48 pm (UTC)
I wouldn't do it and I think it's tacky.
Dec. 16th, 2007 06:51 pm (UTC)
My mom's side of the family does it, so I passed it off as a Cajun tradition. I don't care for it, and I feel pretty awkward when watching it happen, but if it's your family's thing then go for it!
Dec. 16th, 2007 07:12 pm (UTC)
I've only been to one wedding with a dollar dance at the reception, and I kind of liked it. The groom was my best friend from high school, and I would have felt very awkward asking his new bride if I could dance with him at the reception otherwise. I could care less about the actual money aspect of it, I just enjoyed having even a short one-on-one chance to dance with my friend and wish him well. So many brides post that they didn't have enough time to spend with each guest, and at least this way they get even a short opportunity to get some alone time with individual guests.
(Deleted comment)
(no subject) - falls2climb - Dec. 16th, 2007 07:25 pm (UTC) - Expand
Dec. 16th, 2007 07:18 pm (UTC)
The dollar dance is typical in our family, so it wouldn't be perceived as tacky, but I've been considering some alternatives just in case. For example, donating the money to charity or, as someone mentioned above, having a "free" dance with the same premise. Except I think my family would still try to pay if we did that!

I think some people who are less familiar with it assume that it's only about the money. For me, it's a convenient way to dance and talk with whoever would like that opportunity. Last year I was more than happy to shell out a buck for the chance to dance with my favorite cousin at his wedding, and I know he appreciated my doing so. And again, in areas/families where it's traditional, no one is going to be offended. The only downside in that case is that it can take a really long time - our DJ told us four songs on average.

I guess the bottom line seems to be that you should go for it if you think your guests will. If they're not familiar with it, consider an alternative. But I really wish others wouldn't assume that those who choose to have the dance are money-grubbers.
Dec. 16th, 2007 08:27 pm (UTC)
Though I would never do a dollar dance, I wouldn't go as far as to call it tacky, especially if it's a cultural aspect of the wedding. I could see how people might consider it tacky if the couple is doing it just to get more money out of the guest, but when it comes to a cultural tradition (I lived in Chicago for the first part of my life, and I knew that this was a big thing with Italian and Polish weddings), then I know that there is a bigger meaning behind it. So while it's something that I wouldn't do, that's not to say I wouldn't turn my nose up at other people doing it, especially if it's a tradition. That's a pretty sensitive area, I think.

Also, I can why there is an uproar about people calling other people's traditions "tacky". Again, that's a pretty sensitive area, one's cultural traditions and how their family's innerworkings. In a way, while no one will be pinning dollars on me anytime soon, I found myself pretty angry when I explained the Black Wedding tradition of "jumping the broom" to people who didn't know about it, and they either laughed me off or just told me that it sounded "stupid". I'm not trying to start a war, but one should be mindful of the words they use in regard to someone else's cultural traditions.

But that's just my two yen.
Dec. 16th, 2007 08:50 pm (UTC)
thank you for typing this. Im of the same camp that dont like hearing what is tacky. People need to be mindful of others traditions and cultures. People need to understand that this world is made up of many cultures with many varying traditions and just because you personally dont celebrate the tradition that it shouldn't be deemed tacky. And this is a large community where many of these traditions and cultures collide. Some people will have a money dance, others will have a wishing well, others will have a cash bar, or have guests seperated by who gets invited to the supper and who gets an invite to just the ceremony/reception.

Im someone who actually enjoys learning about traditions of other weddings so when i see something im not used to, i ask about it so i can learn more about it. But i guess not everyone can be like that.

But yeah, sorry for the ramble in response. And this is where i end my 2 cents.
Dec. 16th, 2007 09:22 pm (UTC)
I don't really have an opinion about tackiness or not, but I have never once been to a wedding that had one of these. Who does this? What area of the country?
(Deleted comment)
(no subject) - treasurehim - Dec. 17th, 2007 10:47 am (UTC) - Expand
Dec. 16th, 2007 09:29 pm (UTC)
It's not the norm in my culture or region, so I view it as tacky.

I'd have to say, don't do it unless it's the norm for yours.
Dec. 16th, 2007 10:41 pm (UTC)
We did it at my wedding, and I don't think it is tacky because:

-it's a tradition, it's been done in all of the weddings in my very large Italian family. They would wind up shoving it somewhere if we did not.

-Also, the "guests" at my wedding are family and friends. Not poeple I don't know or feel like I offending them if I do something they don't like. They are familiar with the traditions also.

Now, if a couple did this and it was not in their norm, it might be considered tacky. But for those where it is tradition, I don't think it is.
Page 2 of 3
<<[1] [2] [3] >>
( 91 raised glasses — toast the couple )


Wedding Plans

Rules Reminder

Please remember to read the community rules, located at the community profile. Pay particular attention to image sizes, how and when to use an LJ cut, and that we expect mutual respect of one another. Offenders will be warned and, if necessary, banned. If you have any questions, please contact a moderator.


Powered by LiveJournal.com
Designed by Lilia Ahner