Log in

No account? Create an account

previous | next

Money Dance?

Are you guys gonna have a money dance at the reception?

My gut screams, "Tacky! Poor taste!" when I think about it, but my head says, "If the guests don't think it's tacky, you're a fool for not jumping on the wagon..."

What are you guys planning to do?

Wow. I left to go Christmas shopping and came back to find all those comments! Eek!

First of all, I really wasn't intending to be inflammatory on any level. I truly apologize if my word choice offended anyone.

The tradition was something I'd never even heard of until my two wedding planner-type ladies mentioned it. They didn't indicate that it was any type of cultural thing. They actually said everyone does it and thought we'd be crazy not to.

Well, since I knew that my family a) had never included a money/dollar dance in their celebrations, and b) are also incredibly uptight about money, I figured I'd ask you folks how common it is and get a feel from there...

All I know is that it sounds like a tradition that my immediate family would prefer I opt out of - and the last thing I need from them is another fight about the wedding! I guess I'll just stick with my own family's tradition of treating money (and the taking thereof) as a very private, personal, taboo subject.


Dec. 16th, 2007 03:45 pm (UTC)
1) Never been to a wedding without one and I've been to weddings in the South and in the Midwest, spanning a wide variety of ethnic and cultures. From my understanding the point is to help give the couple a little fun money for their honeymoon or to help with the first home payment. If it's not a tradition people in your area/family/culture are aware of, then don't do it. If it is, good on ya and have fun. I'm a little confused why this is one of the cultural traditions that people feel they can openly criticize, rather offensively, when it's been clearly established that "You are more than welcome to express your reasons as to why something "is not your style," but please respect others' preferences. We all come from different regional, religious, ethnic and financial backgrounds and all walks of life." It involves money, so it's ok to openly trash something that is a normal, accepted part of how "my people" celebrate? Seems pretty bogus and inconsistent coming from people who think wedding reviews are inappropriate.

2) Really tired of the word tacky in relation to all things money/gift related. I know it's not cool or PC to "want" anything these days, but this is a well-established system of trade wherein I provide entertainment and dinner and they help me and my man in the process of establishing a life together. There are people who are established in life and already have everything they need. That's great for them. But I'm not going to pretend I'm throwing a great party because I care if my mom's work friends see me get hitched. If I didn't need a crock pot or other household sundries, it'd be 4 people at the court house. I am completely honest and unashamed of this.
Dec. 16th, 2007 03:56 pm (UTC)
Edit: I know that people haven't been overly critical in this post, but there have been posts in the past where people have said some pretty harsh things against it. I do appreciate that so far people have included that if it's cultural, then it's ok, but the use of the word tacky still bothers me.
Dec. 16th, 2007 04:36 pm (UTC)
I apologize for my use of the word "tacky" in my comment above. In my opinion, when it IS a cultural/regional thing, it's a totally appropriate thing to do. However, if the guests have never seen it before and the bride has never heard of it, then to include the money dance in the reception, it's a "we're doing this so we can get money," not a "we're doing this because it's tradition and we want to celebrate it." I definitely could have worded it better so as not to use the word "tacky," though. Sorry about that.
(Deleted comment)
Dec. 16th, 2007 05:10 pm (UTC)
well, It is in the rules to use appropriate language and the Mods have posted about doing your best to be respectful (Plus sized brides post for example) And no matter how much they post about trying to be respectful you're not going to make everyone happy all the time. Also, this is a community where emotions run high.

I'm sorry if you've been offended by any of the above or below, but being open and accepting of views is a two way street.
(Deleted comment)
Dec. 16th, 2007 05:33 pm (UTC)
Um excuse me but if Its not something BOTH parties work on then we go on living in ignorance of the other's Side thus causing MORE problems. I'm sorry your patience is wearing thin but you can't change everyone's minds. If it makes you angry then don't read the comments about Money Dances. Or simply post your opinion and recognize that some people are going to be jerks no matter what.

If you think I'm "not on your side" you're wrong, I think we just need to learn to work through differences. I don't like her rude comment and but I don't think it warrants rude comment back.

Also, So you're saying that when in a normal tradition to put registry cards (such is my mother's culture to do so) That it shouldn't be called tacky either? It's my mom's tradition to put registry cards in the invites and Should I take offense because my Culture is being attacked? No? Why? because every body has a problem with something being tacky.

By giving harsh comments you're just going to make that commenter hate the tradition more.
(Deleted comment)
Dec. 16th, 2007 05:55 pm (UTC)
I'm not offended. I'm not On any one's side. I'm completely neutral... I just see the value in respecting everyone's ideas. And yes, use what ever "Ism" word you want it doesn't change my stance.

If she was raging against Latina brides being too loud (Which, I have no knowledge of this community so it's not a statement or anything) Then for you as a Latina chiming in and making a big fuss to her would probably make her believe her opinion even more.

Just as you are justified in your opinion (which I happen to agree with if you haven't picked that up) She is justified in her opinion. You can talk till you're blue in the face and some people are still going to dislike the Idea of a Money dance. I guarantee this topic wont come up for a while and then two months down the road this discussion will happen all over again.
(Deleted comment)
Dec. 16th, 2007 06:07 pm (UTC)
and I think you're missing my point.
Dec. 16th, 2007 07:22 pm (UTC)
No worries. It only really bugs me that people are so dismissive about it. I would be skewered if I told people some of the stuff they do that I think is tacky, so I refrain out of respect for it being their deal and move on. There's a difference between "It's not my tradition and I've never seen it done so I think it would be completely out of place and ill-received" vs. "It's tacky. Period. I would never ask my guests for money." I just get the feeling of being looked down upon in some of the comments that come across as though it was the most disgusting thing someone could do.

Dec. 16th, 2007 04:16 pm (UTC)
Dec. 16th, 2007 09:38 pm (UTC)
#2 Your ROI is probably better with the 4 people. Seriously, once the whole thing is said and done you do spend more than you are gifted. I am having a party because I want those people to share my wedding. Then again I'd never invite my parents co-workers since they aren't family or friends of the couple nor would I attend a reception for a co-workers' kids that mean nothing to me.


Wedding Plans

Rules Reminder

Please remember to read the community rules, located at the community profile. Pay particular attention to image sizes, how and when to use an LJ cut, and that we expect mutual respect of one another. Offenders will be warned and, if necessary, banned. If you have any questions, please contact a moderator.


Powered by LiveJournal.com
Designed by Lilia Ahner