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Mod Post- New Rule

New Rule: Do not contact vendors regarding other people's negative experiences.

We have over 3,500 members in our community, which makes this place an amazing resource for planning your wedding. We provide do-it-yourself guides, centerpiece tips, oogle over beautiful wedding dresses, and tell you which vendors you should use or which you shouldn't touch with a ten foot pole.

In order to protect the community, the members, the vendors, and any businesses involved, we request that you do not contact vendors regarding other people's negative experiences.

What does this mean?

You are still allowed to:
  • Post negative reviews of vendors. Tell us your experiences- good or bad- so we can learn from them.

  • Comment on negative reviews of vendors. You think that guy is an asshole? Think that the woman should be more professional? Hit the "toast the couple" link and comment on the post!

  • Contact vendors regarding positive experiences with members of this community. Example: "Hi, ____ raved about you in an online forum and I'm interested in your services! Are you available on [my wedding day] to do my [photography, videography, DJing, chair delivery, feed me plz]?"

  • Contact vendors on behalf of the negative experience YOU have received. It's your wedding and if you feel you've been treated unfairly by vendors, by all means, let them know it.


  • You are NOT allowed to:
  • Contact the vendor on behalf of the original poster and let the vendor know what you think about his/her services.

  • Contact the any of the vendor's associates or the BBB on behalf of the OP.


  • Why are we doing this?
  • To protect you. If you write a scathing review of a photographer, for example, and many people get so upset over his actions that they send him hate mail, that probably isn't going to make him very happy with you, the person who wrote the bad review. Think about it: most vendors know your name, your wedding date, your wedding location, and your contact info. That's a LOT of info that someone who has suddenly become your enemy now has access to. Not only can the vendor e-mail you and tell you what a horrible person you are for ripping him a new asshole all over the internets, but he can also provoke you by phone, e-mail, show up at your home, or show up to your wedding unannounced. Yes, it sounds a little far-fetched, but you'd be surprised what people do when they're pissed off.

  • To protect us. If our community members are seeking out and harassing, demeaning, disrespecting and defaming vendors whom they don't have any experience with, we can be responsible for slander, libel and/or defamation of character. I'm not suggesting that anything we've posted in the past falls into this category and I'm hoping that nothing in the future does, either. But it's definitely something we need to be aware of. Harassment that stems from weddingplans, whether provoked or unprovoked, will not be tolerated.
  • To protect the vendors. Guys, this isn't like spreading rumors about the promiscuity of your former BFF in high school. Vendors are vendors because that's their job; their livelihood. This is how they pay their bills, put food on their table, go on vacation, and live (hopefully) happy lives. You don't f*ck with someone's job unless it's serious. And if it's *that* serious, the original poster, the person who has ACTUALLY HAD CONTACT WITH THE VENDOR should do the complaining, alerting the bosses and BBB, etc. Let me state that again: Unless you have actually had previous contact with the vendor OUTSIDE of this altercation, you should NOT make contact. Do we have the right to judge someone's actions based on our limited knowledge to the point of possibly ruining someone's career? No. It's also extremely disrespectful and rude to hunt someone down just to tell them off. We will not tolerate witch hunts fueled by rabid brides.


  • Anyone who is caught contacting vendors on someone else's behalf about negative experience will get ONE warning. Do it again and you'll be banned from this community. We will start enforcement immediately, but the rules will not be applied retroactively to comments or posts that have already been made.

    Questions? Comments? Concerns? Complaints? Let me know.

    Although I wish it was, this is NOT an April Fool's Day joke.

    Comments

    wateringrocks
    Apr. 2nd, 2008 12:55 am (UTC)
    i fully support the implementation of this rule.
    my only thought is that one warning is generous in light of all the other LEGAL and personal implications. if someone from this community did any of the things listed in the DO NOT section of this rule it could have very negative consequences on the comm as a whole. i think that anyone who puts the community/moderators/poster in a sketchy legal position should be removed immediately.
    i'm not sure that it's a good idea to give a second chance to someone who goes out of their way to harass a business. it's not the kind of thing that someone can do 'accidentally'
    apologies if people think this is harsh, but i think it is the most serious rule thus far.
    angeleclipse15
    Apr. 2nd, 2008 01:06 am (UTC)
    After reading this I actually agree with you. If it can get the community in legal trouble then it should be an automatic ban from here on out. After all it is in the rules and we do fill out that entry saying we've read it.
    lizzie
    Apr. 2nd, 2008 01:10 pm (UTC)
    Because this rule has just been created, I feel a little uneasy about giving people automatic bans for it. That being said, if this becomes a frequent problem, we might resort to that line of action. From my experience, though, our members send the e-mails because they're really upset at the quality of service someone else has received. The intention is good- they want to stick up for and support someone who got less-than-par service. But the action isn't appropriate- it provides more negativity to an already-stressed situation, which could backfire on the bride & groom, the member, or the vendor. Generally when this happens within the community, it has a snowball effect- one person says "Maybe we should write an e-mail" and other people join in, and soon there's a whole collection of brides sending scathing e-mails in a situation where that action is inappropriate and over-board. *shrug* We'll see how this works with one warning, and if it seems to not help curb the problem, we'll change to banning upon first offense.
    wateringrocks
    Apr. 2nd, 2008 01:15 am (UTC)
    ps- this was my very first rickroll. i laughed my butt off. it was awesome
    lizzie
    Apr. 2nd, 2008 01:23 am (UTC)
    Awww, thanks! :-) I feel honored to have been your first!
    lizzie
    Apr. 2nd, 2008 01:31 am (UTC)
    Because this rule has just been created, I feel a little uneasy about giving people automatic bans for it. That being said, if this becomes a frequent problem, we might resort to that line of action. From my experience, though, our members send the e-mails because they're really upset at the quality of service someone else has received. The intention is good- they want to stick up and support someone who got less-than-par service. But the action isn't appropriate- it provides more negativity to an already-stressed situation, which could backfire on the bride & groom, the member, or the vendor. Generally when this happens within the community, it has a snowball effect- one person says "Maybe we should write an e-mail" and other people join in, and soon there's a whole collection of brides sending scathing e-mails in a situation where that action is inappropriate and over-board. *shrug* We'll see how this works with one warning, and if it seems to not help curb the problem, we'll change to banning upon first offense.
    circe811
    Apr. 2nd, 2008 01:33 am (UTC)
    I agree and I think you're a great community leader to be so rational and to think things out so well. Thumbs up!

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    Please remember to read the community rules, located at the community profile. Pay particular attention to image sizes, how and when to use an LJ cut, and that we expect mutual respect of one another. Offenders will be warned and, if necessary, banned. If you have any questions, please contact a moderator.

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