Log in

No account? Create an account

previous | next

The Drama-want your take on it

 B4 I start, I want to say that this post is meant to be light and fun and NOT meant to start any major debates, but it is just a small pet peeve of mine....I was purusing The Knot and noticed the topic of labels vs. printing after reading some of the responses you would think there was a debate regarding life saving surgery or world peace!!!  C'mon people these are envelopes that in all liklihood will be in the garbage before you can say "tacky".  Unless you are in the midst of planning a wedding or some other elaborate affair, nobody notices the outside of an envelope (which has probably been through the postal ringer by the time you get it) and people will rip it open to get to the goods on the inside.    I love when people say they confuse envelopes with labels as junk mail and throw it away...REALLY, when there is a return address  and the envelope is usually oversized, you really think it is junk mail and throw it away...hmmmm.  Funny 100% of my guests responded, so i guess they either love junk mail or actually had the brains to figure out it was an invite.  I have heard others say that the envelope/invitation sets the tone for the wedding.  We paid for our entire wedding and invitations was one area i didnt want to spend a lot of money on so i did DIY, with clear labels... nobody showed up to my wedding with any hand made duds or jeans, in fact everyone showed up in suits and cocktail dresses, so i guess that  theory is out the window.  I also read a post once where someone had the balls to say that they received two invites for the same day and because one envelope was handwritten and  "nicer" , so they choose to go to that party...remind me never to invite that person to a party...ha ha.    My all time favorite thing is when people throw out the etiquette rule...OK people where is the master book on etiquette, who wrote it and when was the last time it was updated....b/c for those that "insist" calligraphy is the way to go, chances are that was created back in the day of quill pens....there were NO computers etc.   Is there an etiquette committe that meets once a week to decide what is right or wrong... 

There are a million and one details (and expenses) that go into planning a wedding, why create more stress over a label...here is a question...quick, for every xmas card you got last year how many had labels and how many were handwritten...do you remember? and for those that used...oh my god....a label, did you disown them or stop being their friend???

People should do what makes them happy and what fits into their lifestyle and not be dictated by what others think they should do....I may be in the minority regarding this, but appreciate listening to my rant


( 81 raised glasses — toast the couple )
Page 1 of 2
<<[1] [2] >>
Apr. 12th, 2008 01:48 pm (UTC)
amen! when i get a wedding invite with a label instead of calligraphy, it doesn't phase me at all. i'm going to hand write mine, because i like my handwriting and i have the time to do so. but i sure as hell won't PAY someone to write on something that's gonna get thrown away and beat up through the postal service system.
Apr. 12th, 2008 02:20 pm (UTC)
For realz. I had a Formal AMAZING wedding and I had clear labels and NO inner envelope!!!! *Gasp* OMGWTFBBQSANDWICH! I used a large clear label and a nice font and it was simply lovely! None of my closest in the WP or me or my mom have nice enough hand writing, so I just made labels and told the etiquette gods to kiss my ass!!
Apr. 12th, 2008 04:40 pm (UTC)
I just have to say that OMGWTFBBQSANDWICH made me almost snort my breakfast cereal.
(no subject) - ckdutchess - Apr. 12th, 2008 09:20 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - opheliasmusing - Apr. 12th, 2008 06:30 pm (UTC) - Expand
Apr. 12th, 2008 02:21 pm (UTC)
People on some of these wedding boards feel like things are LIFE OR DEATH when in reality it is so minor and stupid that it doesn't even MATTER! I think you should do what you want because in the end it's your day and it will make you happy! :)
Apr. 12th, 2008 02:24 pm (UTC)
the only thing life or death about planning a wedding is having a groom/bride. Without that.. There is obviously no wedding! haha...It's hard to remember in the midst of planning, But once my wedding was over.. i felt human again.
(no subject) - kaysuiko - Apr. 12th, 2008 07:54 pm (UTC) - Expand
Apr. 12th, 2008 02:30 pm (UTC)
Yeah...I really don't get what people are talking about half the time when I see invitation posts. Outer and inner envelopes (uh, why do you need 2?), caligraphy, clear labels (like so you can just see the writing?), fonts... Do people really print out each one of their guest's addresses on a label? Seems like a lot of effort for not very much reward (ie going directly in the recycling bin).
Apr. 12th, 2008 10:30 pm (UTC)
Haha, same! It also cracks me up when I see people saying they've sent out STDs... I mean, I know what that stands for now (never heard of them before coming on here, I don't think it's something we do in England) but seeing all this talk of giving and receiving STDs....

*shamelessly chuckles every time*
Apr. 12th, 2008 02:34 pm (UTC)
I actually do notice when people print labels on Christmas cards. *shrug* But then again, I think it's weird when people send update letters or just cards where they've signed their names. I always try to include a personal, hand-written note with each card.

Also, there are many master books on etiquette, see Emily Post or Crane's Blue Book for more specifics on social stationery.

For me, I believe communication is important, and how you communicate conveys tonality. Just as I would not post something with poor grammar and spelling on the internet, I would neither send anyone a piece of mail that does not convey that I took the time to think about that specific person when I sent it.

Edited at 2008-04-12 02:36 pm (UTC)
Apr. 12th, 2008 05:44 pm (UTC)
I agree :) I always leave half to one-third of my Christmas letter blank so I can write some more personal content to each person. I do do the partial form letter only because I have an RSI and it's difficult for me to write enough to let everyone know what's going on, and Christmas letters are the only time I stay in touch with some of my relatives.
(no subject) - nightsinger - Apr. 12th, 2008 07:24 pm (UTC) - Expand
Apr. 12th, 2008 02:35 pm (UTC)
Y'know, humans are social animals, and because society necessitates rules, so forth came the existence of something called etiquette, which dictates "proper" social mores.

For some people, particularly those who hail from the northeastern regions of the US, hand calligraphed invitations fit into their budget and the constraints of etiquette. Others, like myself, feel that laser print directly onto an envelope is an acceptable replacement for handwriting, and still another set are going to believe that stick-on labels are eminently okay.

The same goes for inner/outer envelopes, which are a tradition that some people like to continue for formal occasions above and beyond weddings.

This is another one of those debates that is going to go forth until the end of time. We're all well aware of it. I just don't see exactly how soapboxing about your beliefs re the nitty-gritty of wedding details is productive in a community with thousands of members, many of whom will follow tradition and just don't see it as a question.
Apr. 12th, 2008 03:38 pm (UTC)
IAWTC. About halfway through this rant I was questionning its purpose. I was thinking that maybe the OP had a question about or a personal problem regarding her own invitations... Then I got to the end and was confused. I guess I don't see the need to post remarks like this. It's only going to serve to alienate many people who do want to follow standard etiquette.
(no subject) - tictactoes - Apr. 12th, 2008 05:31 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - cascaste123 - Apr. 12th, 2008 05:34 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - annabelle_blue - Apr. 12th, 2008 04:06 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - opheliasmusing - Apr. 12th, 2008 06:32 pm (UTC) - Expand
(Deleted comment)
(no subject) - marybegood - Apr. 24th, 2008 02:29 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - moober - Apr. 12th, 2008 04:50 pm (UTC) - Expand
Apr. 12th, 2008 02:56 pm (UTC)
I was having my invites made by a friend (nothing too complicated) and then was making the inserts and envlope labels on the computer because not only is my handwriting messy but one of my illnesses means that my hand cramps after a few words making it impossible to write so with 60 invites to address, I'd get it done just after the honeymoon!
Apr. 12th, 2008 03:04 pm (UTC)
*laughs* That's how I feel about a LOT of wedding etiquette.
(Deleted comment)
Apr. 12th, 2008 04:14 pm (UTC)
Because I have the penmanship of a third grader and I want my invitations to get to their destination. :p
(no subject) - yo_yomama - Apr. 12th, 2008 04:55 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - yubsie - Apr. 12th, 2008 05:00 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - yo_yomama - Apr. 12th, 2008 05:15 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - yubsie - Apr. 12th, 2008 05:26 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - yo_yomama - Apr. 12th, 2008 05:26 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - yubsie - Apr. 12th, 2008 05:30 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - yo_yomama - Apr. 12th, 2008 05:38 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - yubsie - Apr. 12th, 2008 09:18 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - bellebass - Apr. 14th, 2008 11:06 pm (UTC) - Expand
(Deleted comment)
(no subject) - bellebass - Apr. 15th, 2008 01:46 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - cascaste123 - Apr. 15th, 2008 11:26 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - bellebass - Apr. 15th, 2008 11:38 pm (UTC) - Expand
Apr. 12th, 2008 03:42 pm (UTC)
defensive, much?
Apr. 12th, 2008 03:42 pm (UTC)
ugh, I know I'm so doing labels. they are nice fancy scallopy martha stewart labels I got at michaels though and I'll print them with a nice font.

I do think the standard white block labels with plain times new roman font look bad but I think that with anything. I wouldn't JUDGE someone if I got an invitation with that though.
Apr. 12th, 2008 03:43 pm (UTC)
oh and I'm doing about 50 invitations. I could totally write them but I'm a font freak and my handwriting sucks.
(no subject) - opheliasmusing - Apr. 12th, 2008 06:34 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - whenidance - Apr. 12th, 2008 07:24 pm (UTC) - Expand
Apr. 12th, 2008 03:47 pm (UTC)
Actually, most etiquette books are updated quite regularly. For example, even though Mrs. Emily Post is deceased, one of her children/grandchildren continues to update her etiquette books in order to keep up with the times. So yes, there are hundreds of etiquette books written well after computers were invented.

And frankly, I do notice whether or not an envelope has hand-printed addresses or laser-printed labels. I also notice whether or not there is an inner and outer envelope. And if I were to receive two invitations in the mail on the same day for weddings happening at the same time and one was hand-printed while the other was labeled (assuming I had the same closeness to both parties), I would probably choose the one that was hand-printed.

I was raised on etiquette and manners so I (sometimes unfortunately) always notice such things, the trick is to never actually point them out. Culture is different everywhere in the United States, even the difference between places like Atlanta and Savannah is vast. Don't knock someone else's decisions or worries when you don't know what type of society they came from. Honestly, I was taught that it was tacky to use stick on labels and I really find them quite atrocious. But that's just me and that's the way I was raised. Yes, invitations and labels and other things that some might deem "frivolous" do matter to me (whether its a wedding, dinner party, or thank-you note).
Apr. 12th, 2008 03:53 pm (UTC)
"Culture is different everywhere in the United States" Very true. I would consider you to be a snobby bitch (no, I'm not attacking you, apologies in advance if you think I am) if you were raised up here in my community. But where you are, it's the culture. Everywhere is different.

I think it's just a matter of what you want to do. IMO, it makes no sense to fight with one another over whether they should be handwritten or labeled. Do what you want, it's your wedding after all.
(no subject) - novembermorning - Apr. 12th, 2008 04:00 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - damhnade - Apr. 12th, 2008 04:16 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - yo_yomama - Apr. 12th, 2008 04:58 pm (UTC) - Expand
Apr. 12th, 2008 03:49 pm (UTC)
I made a compromise with my STD's that I'll probably do with the invitations as well. I printed my return address right on the envelope then handwrote the addresses of the invitees.

If I had a million dollars, or cared that much about what people think of me, I might care about the etiquette.

And the Emily Post Institute is right down the road from me. Oops.
Apr. 12th, 2008 04:18 pm (UTC)
I care about etiquette when it comes to making my guests comfortable. How my invitations are addressed has nothing to do with that. Frankly "OMG YOU MUST HANDWRITE YOUR ENVELOPES" is one of the STUPIDER "etiquette" rules.

I've also decided that it was clearly invented by someone with nicer penmanship than me and/or an army of bridesmaid slaves. I have horrible penmanship, and I would like to be sure my invitations make it to their destination with a minimum of confusion. So clear labels for me "etiquette" be damned. :p
(Deleted comment)
(no subject) - yubsie - Apr. 13th, 2008 04:45 am (UTC) - Expand
Apr. 12th, 2008 04:39 pm (UTC)
I didn't really understand the point of this post. As someone pointed out above, the OP does seem awfully defensive about this.

If some of us prefer handwritten envelopes, so what? If you don't, and if you're having a small wedding where you know the guests aren't going to care either way, then that's fine too.

Handwritten envelopes don't seem to matter much in the grand scheme of things, I understand that. But for me personally, handwriting my own envelopes simply goes along with the rest of my wedding; I couldn't imagine not handwriting my envelopes for my own wedding!
Page 1 of 2
<<[1] [2] >>
( 81 raised glasses — toast the couple )


Wedding Plans

Rules Reminder

Please remember to read the community rules, located at the community profile. Pay particular attention to image sizes, how and when to use an LJ cut, and that we expect mutual respect of one another. Offenders will be warned and, if necessary, banned. If you have any questions, please contact a moderator.


Powered by LiveJournal.com
Designed by Lilia Ahner