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The Drama-want your take on it

 B4 I start, I want to say that this post is meant to be light and fun and NOT meant to start any major debates, but it is just a small pet peeve of mine....I was purusing The Knot and noticed the topic of labels vs. printing after reading some of the responses you would think there was a debate regarding life saving surgery or world peace!!!  C'mon people these are envelopes that in all liklihood will be in the garbage before you can say "tacky".  Unless you are in the midst of planning a wedding or some other elaborate affair, nobody notices the outside of an envelope (which has probably been through the postal ringer by the time you get it) and people will rip it open to get to the goods on the inside.    I love when people say they confuse envelopes with labels as junk mail and throw it away...REALLY, when there is a return address  and the envelope is usually oversized, you really think it is junk mail and throw it away...hmmmm.  Funny 100% of my guests responded, so i guess they either love junk mail or actually had the brains to figure out it was an invite.  I have heard others say that the envelope/invitation sets the tone for the wedding.  We paid for our entire wedding and invitations was one area i didnt want to spend a lot of money on so i did DIY, with clear labels... nobody showed up to my wedding with any hand made duds or jeans, in fact everyone showed up in suits and cocktail dresses, so i guess that  theory is out the window.  I also read a post once where someone had the balls to say that they received two invites for the same day and because one envelope was handwritten and  "nicer" , so they choose to go to that party...remind me never to invite that person to a party...ha ha.    My all time favorite thing is when people throw out the etiquette rule...OK people where is the master book on etiquette, who wrote it and when was the last time it was updated....b/c for those that "insist" calligraphy is the way to go, chances are that was created back in the day of quill pens....there were NO computers etc.   Is there an etiquette committe that meets once a week to decide what is right or wrong... 

There are a million and one details (and expenses) that go into planning a wedding, why create more stress over a label...here is a question...quick, for every xmas card you got last year how many had labels and how many were handwritten...do you remember? and for those that used...oh my god....a label, did you disown them or stop being their friend???

People should do what makes them happy and what fits into their lifestyle and not be dictated by what others think they should do....I may be in the minority regarding this, but appreciate listening to my rant


Apr. 12th, 2008 02:35 pm (UTC)
Y'know, humans are social animals, and because society necessitates rules, so forth came the existence of something called etiquette, which dictates "proper" social mores.

For some people, particularly those who hail from the northeastern regions of the US, hand calligraphed invitations fit into their budget and the constraints of etiquette. Others, like myself, feel that laser print directly onto an envelope is an acceptable replacement for handwriting, and still another set are going to believe that stick-on labels are eminently okay.

The same goes for inner/outer envelopes, which are a tradition that some people like to continue for formal occasions above and beyond weddings.

This is another one of those debates that is going to go forth until the end of time. We're all well aware of it. I just don't see exactly how soapboxing about your beliefs re the nitty-gritty of wedding details is productive in a community with thousands of members, many of whom will follow tradition and just don't see it as a question.
Apr. 12th, 2008 03:38 pm (UTC)
IAWTC. About halfway through this rant I was questionning its purpose. I was thinking that maybe the OP had a question about or a personal problem regarding her own invitations... Then I got to the end and was confused. I guess I don't see the need to post remarks like this. It's only going to serve to alienate many people who do want to follow standard etiquette.
Apr. 12th, 2008 05:31 pm (UTC)
I think saying that it alienates people who want to hand address or hire a caligrapher for their invitations is a little extreme. I think the OP was just statiing that it doesn't matter what you do, because in the end the enevelope is likely ending up in the trash.
Apr. 12th, 2008 05:34 pm (UTC)
absolutely...my intent was not to offend, allienate, or piss anyone off, I was just ranting.
Apr. 12th, 2008 04:06 pm (UTC)
I agree with this as well. For me, hand addressing my envelopes, though tedious to some, was something I truly enjoyed. I love my handwriting, I love the feeling of creating that writing gives to me... I love that when someone sees a carefully addressed (or written) item in my script, they know that I took my time.

People do things the "old" way for the same reason novelists like Austen, Forster, and Hemingway exist... the beautiful timelessness of classics. There's nothing wrong with adapting to something new, but certainly nothing wrong with relishing in the comfort of tradition either.

By these same standards, most of my wedding would have been "obsolete" in the OP's eyes... my vintage-inspired dress, hair and makeup, etc.

Apr. 12th, 2008 06:32 pm (UTC)
ditto enjoying calligraphy. i taught myself a new skill in the process, and it's come in handy since then actually. and ppl do notice- i received more compliments from folks as word spread that i did them myself.
(Deleted comment)
Apr. 24th, 2008 02:29 pm (UTC)
I think she meant that Austen et. al. are concidered classics and are still beloved today because people in today's world look back to them and enjoy them for thier antiquity. Her message as I interprited it was not that they were "classic traditionalists" in thier own time (as you pointed out, they were not) but that today we continue to enjoy them even though we would concider them to be very traditional for our time period. People in the modern world often enjoy things from the past. So some people love the idea of hand written invites.

However, I agree with you. Whether we print or write labels that shouldn't be such a big deal.

Apr. 12th, 2008 04:50 pm (UTC)
I agree as well.


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