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Well that was awkward

Hello all! I don't post very often here, but after attending a recent wedding, I had to at least put my thoughts down.

The wedding was beautiful, the food was top notch, and I had a really great time... except during the social hour. My husband was Best Man and he was off getting his picture taken with the rest of the bridal party during that time. No biggie! I am, after all, an adult who fully understands the wedding-day agenda. So I get to the reception hall and I get in line for hors d'oeuvres. I chatted with some people around me about the ceremony and the weather and everything was fine. Until I went to find my seat. Seats were assigned, and I went to the table with the name cards but could not find my name. I scanned it about half a dozen times before I realized that no, my name would not magically appear if I tried to find it hard enough. So I started walking around. There were some people still milling around, but nearly the entire hall had found their seats when I realized that the head table had one more plate than was in the party. I casually walked over and lo and behold my name card was there. Since I didn't know anyone at the wedding except the bride and groom, I'm nearly 100% positive that she seated me there to be by my husband at dinner. But this created a really awkward effect: If I had sat at the head table before the bridal party arrived, I would have stuck out like a sore thumb. So I couldn't sit down without feeling EXTREMELY self-conscious and therefore anxious (things that I struggle with continuously and go to therapy for; I mean, just thinking about sitting by myself at the table gave me anxiety). I also was the only person in the hall who never sat down once during the social hour. I chatted with people in line just fine, but I think a lot of that was because we were forced to be near each other. As soon as they had what they went up for, they went back to their table. Since the seating was assigned, I couldn't sit in someone else's seat to try to make small talk either. I was in limbo for an hour and a half and it kinda sucked. =/

I don't think there is ever going to be a perfect solution to seating the bridal party's significant others, and I really do think the bride was trying to be thoughtful of me, but damn it was a rough reception.


( 7 raised glasses — toast the couple )
Jul. 5th, 2014 04:25 am (UTC)
Oh no! That must have been horribly awkward! I think I would have spent a lot of time hiding in the bathroom waiting for the bridal party to come out.
Jul. 7th, 2014 01:46 am (UTC)
That would have been a good idea, but there was no bathroom - just two porta-potties. =/ For part of the social hour I went to watch the picture-taking session, but I was the only guest who went to do that and I kept feeling awkward and left.
Jul. 5th, 2014 01:46 pm (UTC)
This is another reason to hate head tables -- if you're going to let people sit with their spouses (and please do!), don't still make them all sit at a head table with you, 'cause awkward stuff like this can happen. It doesn't even matter if you personally have anxiety issues: I think ANYONE would've been uncomfortable with that, being the only one sitting at the head table before the bridal party arrives. I certainly would've.
Jul. 7th, 2014 01:47 am (UTC)
I hate head tables too, and I didn't have one at my wedding.
Jul. 5th, 2014 04:17 pm (UTC)
I'm so sorry this happened to you! I would've been freaking out.

I also appreciate that you posted this. Even though I've already gotten married, I think it's super helpful to hear things that people didn't like about weddings when planning your own. Because like you said, the bride was probably trying to be thoughtful, but it turned out really badly. So it's good for people to know things they maybe shouldn't do.

I had a head table at my wedding, but only my MOH and BM sat with us. They were both single at the time and neither brought dates, so I had no problem putting them with us. The rest of the bridal party did have SOs, so we let them sit with everyone else so they could be together and not have things be awkward.
Jul. 7th, 2014 01:43 am (UTC)
I did not have a head table at my wedding. Everyone in the bridal party had dates, and I didn't want to separate them. DH and I had a table alone and then two round tables flanked us. We split the party and their dates/spouses between the two tables so that during picture time/social hour, the dates could socialize with each other without strictly being at the "head table." It was the best solution we could think of, and as far as I could tell it worked pretty well (I didn't hear complaints, and at least three people in the party pointed out that they really like the seating arrangements.)
Aug. 6th, 2014 10:44 pm (UTC)
I dislike head tables, but moreso because most often the bride and groom do not plan well for the significant others. I've been stuck at a table full of people I didn't know because my husband was in a wedding that I was not in. On the other hand, I would be much happier to be at a head table, and personally I probably wouldn't have been self-conscious about sitting down alone at the head table before the bridal party came in. I would be really grateful for the couple being gracious enough to host me there.

Two of my friends just got married and the one thing they actually did that they wanted was have a sweetheart table. I think their families were fighting for a traditional head table, but they had a sweetheart table and I think it turned out well (plus I was sitting at an awesome table, since half my friends were in the wedding party lol).
( 7 raised glasses — toast the couple )


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